Saturday, May 22, 2010


Around 12h00 or so, Stupid Foreigner gets a call from the sweetheart German Truck driver. He will meet her in 20 minutes. Hurray!!! Finally, it is going to be 'Christmas' soon....and Stupid Foreigner will receive her Christmas gift .....that is the arrival of the German Truck Driver!!!

Yes....the clock ticks by seconds and nano seconds.....there he comes! Mein Liebe!!! She could feel the first tinges of snow on her; at a distant she could hear the church bells ringing....fairies are dancing. Before she could realize what was happening, he was in her apartment. After a short exchange of words, they both got into action, for neither was ready to waste any further time. It was already late...and couldn't wait any more! They push, support and comfortably places one on top of another. After few minutes of moving up and down with heavy weight, by 12h40 it was finally over!

(Stop....what did you imagine!? They were ONLY loading the packages into the truck, moving it down from 2nd floor!).

It was time and she said 'Tschus! Schoen Tag noch!!' and proceeded to make her move towards office.

After all these years of being in Deutschland, Ms. Stupid Foreigner, finally understood, 4 days before flying out what does it mean when they say 'Willkommen in Deutschland'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


It was 29th August, 2007, the day for the cargo pickup. Scheduled & confirmed time was between 08h00 and 09h00 (CET). Clock ticks 09h00....09h10.....uuuhhhh...Ms. Stupid Foreigner gets butterflies in her stomach. Did she say 09h00 or 21h00??? She got confused because normally Germans are known for their “Punctuality”.....( time she was sure she didn't mean it in the Indian sense....where 09h00 means 12h030....)

She was convinced the Germans will land up at her door and say "Guten Tag...blah blah..." and just pick her bags away. Yet, due to her restlessness, she decided to call the Cargo Company and enquire.

Tring....Tring....rings the phone bell (3 times).

No answer.....fourth time, there is a voice on the telephone but not the person whom she wants to talk to. Never mind, my lady Ms. Stupid Foreigner politely said she will call back.

After some repeated calls to the Cargo company....finally she got a response, the truck will arrive at 11h00 (When this was told it was already 09h40!!!)

Oh yes!!! That sounds great!!! Stupid Foreigner makes the first move to inform her boss and writes a mail to him, saying, since the truck driver is 'Most likely' expected to pick up the packages, accordingly she will also 'most likely' arrive in office by noon.

But something kept irking her as to what went behind those repeated calls that went unanswered.....Guess what...!?

Behind the Scenes

The Germans have finally come to a conclusion (within a very very short span) that in order to transport her 4 boxes and a cycle, they need to buy a new truck!!!!!

And they proudly announced that they are proceeding with the purchase....just to service their valuable customer, Ms. Stupid Foreigner. (Oh no!!! Don't you worry Stupid Foreigner, they will not charge you for it; how come??? Stars above your head??!!!.....that is because it is not part of the contract!!!!!! Gotcha!]

After this painstaking decision, they entered into the 'not-so-skilled' area of price negotiation. The germans are still negotiating the price for the truck (After all, they are not good know...neither are they like Japanese..who shun negotiation...they still try...!)]

Back to Front scene

Ok...after all these wait period, our lady Ms. Stupid Foreigner goes ahead to ask, is that confirmed? you are expecting a german to confirm?!?! Man!!! Stupid Foreigner, you must be crazy....are you insane?!!

The lady on the other end of the phone "I am not so sure...I am sorry....I don't know..."

[If there was ever a competition of using so many uncertain & negative words in one know who will win!] I will call you in half hour!!! Bang...goes the line!

Yes....the half hour wait continued....till Stupid Foreigner, receives a call after 40 minutes....(
I thought i learnt that half hr = 30 mts and NOT 40) May be, stupid Indian math is no good!! They teach everything wrong.

Ok...and what happens in the call, something positive...Guess what! She gets a "SUGGESTION" from the company (THAT'S BLOODY POSITIVE) that “why don't you go to office...and the truck guy will cal you 15 minutes before he arrives and then you can come back home, send your things...and be happy!!”

On hearing this, our sexy lady's heart starts to beat faster and now all religions became one at this moment in her mind....that she started to go "Halleluja.....Insha Allah....Sree Krishna...."

You know...Stupid Foreigner never learnt that she should stop "Questioning" she goes ahead to ask for the reason...and gets an answer....."Oh...the truck has got a breakdown...the driver waits for further support in the middle of nowhere.

(Poor German truck driver....looks like there was no manual which specified how to react or respond in such a situation! No there was a manual which said that and but NOT A waits endlessly)

The lady from the Cargo company....didn't want to decide how to proceed ( should be happy that she came up with a suggestion...can't expect more...!) So final suggestion from Stupid Foreigner end was “Ok...I wait endlessly for my German sweetheart truck driver to come & pick up the goods...for I have to move it out today...and try to work from home!!!”

Stupid Foreigner, that sexy little lady, is too duty bound that she now makes her next move to inform her boss and colleagues about further delay to come to work. So she writes a mail to her boss, giving a briefing of the situation and states in her mail, “So that is why this mail to you ......saying am working from home....until this stuff finishes and to your question...'will i come to office today' answer is ..."I am not sure....I am so sorry....I don't know...". Any further questions, the answer repeats!!! ;-)


Have you ever been a Customer?

“Yes”, proudly says many hearts.

Have you ever been a Customer in Germany? “Errrr....what difference does that make?

A customer is a customer, no matter where he is, in which part of the world he is!” True...but it does make a difference when it comes to “Customer Service”.

Really......?! How come?? And where? ...Read on....the following interesting ordeal...:)

It was one of those days in August, when Summer was reportedly over in Hannover” (It is Hannover with “nn”, per German Standards and not with “n”, the american way). It is in Germany and not the one in US!!!

Our heroine of this novel, Ms Stupid Foreigner (Yea thats the name she gets in my novel) counting her days eagerly to fly back to home in India. But this eagerness doesn't stop her from her duties or tasks to be completed before she leaves. One such task was to ship her personal belongings back to India through a Cargo company.

After having been in Germany for 2 years, she was well aware of “providing information in advance” to the German companies, whatever be your request. Of course, definition of “Advance” can vary anywhere between 3 days to 3 months depending on the nature of service one avails. Having had 'advance' training in such notifications, she promptly made arrangements with Cargo company (both in India & Germany) for a pick up service, 4 days in advance.

Another education has taught her about the 'various documentations' that need to be provided and so she promptly provided the photos of the packages, checklist etc. Things went well....and our lady was brimming with joy that things are moving smoothly and waited for the “Tag des Pickup”, that glorious moment when can put a Tickmark on her checklist of milestones. ( better be aware that Ms. Stupid Foreigner is a dignified IT Software Pro and that should tell you how much importance and value it carries if you are able to put a Tick mark or completed mark against a milestone!)

Palace of Illusions

After a long time I managed to finish reading a book....this time I picked up an author who is not in my usual list and also a fiction one. "Palace of Illusions" ....which portrays happenings in Mahabaratha from Panchali's view point.

It was quite an interesting read and filled my evenings. It did not say anything greatly different from what a women would think or portray sufferings or shortcomings of yester years.
In the whole book, the key thing that interested me was the secret feelings between Draupadi and Karna for each other! It did keep in thoughts for a while...actually days....and possibly still..:-)